Shawn & Me + 3

11

2010-07-14T18:39:00.001-07:00

11 is our family number.
My Daddy wore #11 in high school and college. He was the quarterback, and played baseball.

My brother wore #11 in high school and college. He too was the quarterback, and played baseball.

Shawn Webster...my high-school sweetheart...wore #11. He wasn't the quarterback though - he was an All-State receiver. And he played baseball.

My birthday is on the 11th day of August.

We've just always loved the #11.

Tomorrow, on 7/15...Keith turns 11.
The first time I saw him - I loved him. He was 3. He wasn't handed to my by a doctor or a nurse. We didn't cut an umbilical cord. I don't know when he first slept through the night, ate solid foods, took a step.

Know what else? I. don't. CARE.

The only steps that matter are the ones he made into my heart. He has occupied it ever since.

He isn't "easy."
He isn't "normal."
We've come to realize that "normal" is just a setting on a washing machine.

So many people love him. None more than his Momma.
Sadly, as we've gone through the years, I've learned a lot about humanity through Keith. All the lessons haven't been pretty.

The world is filled of judgemental, close-minded people. I've come to see more ugliness than I ever imagined.

It never fails...I get so angry, so hurt.
Then I look at Keith.

He is often smack in the middle of judgement...but he has the purest heart of any child I know.

He is often isolated by the labels and boundaries placed on him by others.
Yet to me...his beauty is boundless.

Keith Martin is my HEART.
And today - my heart is full.

Tomorrow my heart turns 11.
My favorite number.
11.

I look at Zack and I see my scrappy boy who will NEVER let anyone get anything past him. I don't worry about Zack.
I look at Griffin and I see my Politician/Lawyer. Heck, I see myself. I don't worry about Griffin.

I look at Keith and I see the hardest working child I know.
I see obstacles, struggles, and hurdles.

I see more adversity than I consider fair.

You know what I don't see?
Giving up. Quitting. Slacking.

I've been told that God allows adversity in the lives of those that He thinks can handle it.

God thinks an awful lot of my Keith.

I wish that everyone saw the beauty of him. Not his physical looks...but I must admit - he is a striking child.

I mean the beauty of his character. His personality. His abilities.

He is a harder worker than I ever thought of being.
He is the least judgmental soul I know.
He is capable of great, great things. I believe in him. I'm his biggest fan.

Yep, he's my heart. And now he's 11.
Happy Birthday sweet Keith. I love you more than you'll ever know.

just a trip down memory lane...from the old blog. i thought about this as i was typing tonight's entry...had to pull it up.
http://amy-beautifuldisaster.blogspot.com/2009/01/still-looking.html

Guest Blogger

2010-07-04T09:49:00.000-07:00

We are on a mini-vacation in "Wee-zee-ann-uh" (as Griffin says). I will have lots of fun pictures and stories to share once we return to reality. In the meantime, I have something special for my readers. A guest blogger. My BFF...my niece Maddie. Maddie, or Cupcake as I call her, is so much like me it's scary. And I love it. Her parents...maybe not so much. :) I asked Maddie if she'd like to be "in my computer" and she replied, "Yep." So I interviewed her. So here it is.

Me: Ok Maddie. I'm gonna ask you some questions so you can be on my computer.
Maddie: Will Griffin be on there?
Me: Nope. Just you.
Maddie: Will Breanna be on there?
Me: Nope. Just you.
Maddie: Hurry up, I'm gonna go play with Griffin.
Me: Yes Ma'am.
Me: Maddie, what's your favorite song?
Maddie: Hannah Montana.
Me: Which Hannah Montana song?
Maddie: The Limo out front.
Me: Hey Duke (Maddie's Mom), is there a Hannah Montana song called The Limo out front?
Amy/Duke: (singing) You've got the Limo out front.
Me: I think that might be "The Best of Both Worlds."
Maddie: No. It's The Limo out Front.
Me: Alright Maddie, what's your favorite color?
Maddie: Pink & Purple.
Me: What is your favorite food?
Maddie: Pickles!
Me: What's your favorite drink?
Maddie: Sprike.
Me: Sprite?
Maddie: Yeah. Sprike.
Me: What's your favorite thing on TV?
Maddie: 16 Wishes
Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Maddie: A Princess.
Me: That's good. Which is your favorite Disney Princess?
Maddie: Um.....The Princess and the Frog.
Me: What is her name?
Maddie: Who?
Me: The princess on that movie?
Maddie: I don't remember. MOMMA, what is her name on the Princess and the Frog?
Amy/Duke: Tiana?
Maddie: Yeah. Her.
Me: What is your favorite place to go out to eat?
Maddie: Mexican.
Me: Where are you going to college?
Maddie: Alabama. With Griffin.
Amy/Duke: No you're not. You're going to LSU with Hannah.
Me: Nope. She said it. She's going to Alabama w/Griffin.
Gigi: Y'all stop fussing.
Me: Maddie, who is your BFF (hoping she'd say me)
Maddie: Griffin.
Me: Tell me some things you are good at.
Maddie: Handstands, cartwheels, splits.
Me: You sure are. Now tell me some things you need to work on.
Amy/Duke: Oh, I can think of LOTS of stuff here.
Maddie: (glaring at her mom) Ummmm....I don't know. Working on trampolines I guess. (she looked out the window and saw the trampoline so I guess that sparked an answer)
Me: Who is your pet?
Maddie: Sassy the cat.
Me: Who are you mad at right now?
Maddie: Nobody.
Me: That's good. Have you ever told a lie?
Maddie: (without missing a beat) Nope. Never.
Amy/Duke and Chris: (in unison) Whatever. You just told one right now.
Maddie: No I didn't!!
Me: What is your favorite thing to wear?
Maddie: Dresses.
Amy/Duke: Notice the pink and black dress she has chosen for her 4th of July outfit.
Maddie: (glares at her Momma) I like to pick MY OWN clothes.
Me: What do you wish?
Maddie: I wish my Momma was a little kid.
Amy/Duke: Why?
Maddie: So me and Breanna could play with her and I would get my drivers license.
Me: Ok. What kind of car are you gonna have when you turn 16?
Maddie: A limousine.
Me: What's your favorite toy?
Maddie: A scooter
*side note - you ought to see this girl on her scooter. she SCARES me she goes so fast on it.*
Me: What food do you not like?
Maddie: Soup.
Me: What is your favorite kind of ice cream?
Maddie: Banilla and strawberry.
Me: Do you have any secrets that you can tell me?
Maddie: Yep. (whispers to me) Patrick always says, "I like poo-poo pancakes." (then laughs maniacally)
Me: That's a good one.
Maddie: Yep! Are you gonna put it in your computer?
Me: Yep, I sure am.
Maddie: Good. I want my Momma to see it.

Are You READY???

2010-06-29T19:40:00.000-07:00

WE ARE!! RTR!!!

* boys of summer *

2010-06-21T09:34:00.000-07:00

Let me catch you up on Shawn, me, and our 3. Over the past 2 weekends we've been in 2 different All-Star tournaments. The first was an Invitational at Vincent. It. was. HOT. This past weekend (starting Thursday night) we started our Regional Tournament in Clanton (West End). Of the 4 games we've played, we've won 3. We beat the North Chilton Nationals 17-7, Jemison 10-0, and Shelby County 15-10. We've burned up, had a game interrupted with a storm warning siren, burned up, laughed A LOT, burned up, scrubbed white uniforms, burned up, and basically - burned up. On Thursday and Friday nights, we got home well after midnight. Luckily Sat. night allowed us to get home early - it was around 11ish.

You haven't lived until you've had 2 little baseball players in solid white uniforms who seem to be drawn to the red dirt like a moth to a flame. Zack pitches, so in between each pitch, he rubs his right hand in the dirt, then wipes it on his leg. Basically, he creates red mud w/his sweaty hand and grinds it on his thigh...between each pitch. Then there's Keith. It's the darnedest thing...he just "happens to" slide about a million times a night. Nevermind...so does Zack. Heck, so does every boy on the team.

You haven't lived until you've had to take a 5 gallon bucket w/a lid, and an industrial sized container of Simple Green and forced your children to strip down and change clothes in a ball field parking lot so you can soak their uniforms all the way home. I don't know what I've spent more money on lately - Powerade, sunflower seeds, and bottled water or various types of stain removers.

You haven't lived until you've been physically sick as you worried/prayed/cheered for your kids as all eyes are on them. The pressure...oh the pressure. I have been sick to my stomach as my "babies" have been up to bat, Zack has pitched, Keith has had fly balls hit to him, etc. I grew up the daughter of a coach. I've heard countless people second-guess my Dad, badmouth his decisions, etc. Same with Shawn as a coach. But when it's your baby...that's different. The pressure affects me far worse than it does them. It makes me worry, makes me sick. But them - they love it. It's just another game to them.

In between games we watch the boys. They sit around and laugh...they are having the time of their lives. The parents sit around and talk about when we all were growing up. We all went to school together, we all share the same memories of Little League and Vincent sporting events. We reminisce and go back to the early 90's and the days of our youth. Now, we're doing it all over again - but this time with our own kids. Time is flying.

I was thinking about all of this and had another memory. At my brother's wedding rehearsal dinner, my parents were giving their speech and introducing the groom's party. Well, being the good "athletic supporters" that they are (no pun intended!), they recognized a common thread among Chris' groomsmen. Each one of them played on some sort of team with Chris. Josh, his best man, started way back in Little League on the Reds, then they went on to play for VHS together. Some of the other guys were from various college teams. Mom and Dad kept all of Chris' jerseys, so as they introduced the groomsman, they brought out the jersey and talked of their days "on the field." I loved that.

Just last night, I had an epiphany. As I'm a nervous wreck Momma, buying sunflower seeds and Simple Green...my boys are being boys...with their future groomsmen. They might not realize it now, but they are forming relationships around the game of baseball; relationships that will last longer than the memories of scores and batting averages. (except to them, of course. i've learned that boys/men NEVER forget these things) So one day...in a long, long, time...I'll have jerseys to hold up. Different sized mementos to represent a time of wonder for my sweet guys. Different teams - same bonds. Tomorrow, when I'm scrubbing out the red dirt stains...I'll think about that. I'm gonna want to hold them a little longer, while these jerseys still fit.

Hopefully...this will be the only solid white uniform I'll have to hold up. Next time...I'm voting for darker colors.

r.i.p.

2010-06-17T08:44:00.000-07:00

*this post is dedicated to my pals, brigitte and kamin. both of you girls are alive to me. :)

I often find myself right in the middle of a tangent. I will "get on something" and ride the life out of it. Take for example the time I infused every single conversation I had with the "finger quotes." My mother HATED that. And I hearted it. Hearting things. That was really popular with me last summer. Making up song lyrics...I'm still coasting through that tangent. I don't forsee it ending anytime soon. But my latest tangent is alive and kicking. It is saying, "that is dead to me."

Dead to me. What does it mean? It simply means, "I'm over it." As I was teaching a coupon class a few weeks ago, I shared that Wal-Mart is "dead to me." Much to my surprise (and enjoyment, I must admit) I saw this quote on several FB pages. Let me explain what I mean. Is Wal-Mart convenient? You bet it is. But I have broken free of my coccoon of ignorance as far as Wal-Mart is concerned. They are trying to take over the world. AND WE ARE LETTING THEM! I say NO MORE! I don't HAVE to "just run in to grab a few things bc Wal-Mart is so cheap." NO THEY AREN'T! If you take a little time and shop with coupons, you'll quickly see how un-cheap Wal-Mart really is. They are banking on our a. ignorance to this matter, and b. laziness. NO MORE! Now before my vast audience dies a collective death, let me clarify a few things. Do I still shop at Wal-Mart? YES. I even buy some groceries there (only with coupons and super great deals though). BUT, I refuse to do my "main grocery shopping" there, and I refuse to fall victim to their top secret master plan of world dominance anymore. Thus...they are dead to me. And you know what? They're not alone. Here are some other things that as of today, June 17, 2010 are dead to me.

1. Oprah. DEAD TO ME. Oprah, with her "John Tra-VOL-tahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" and her glass of water with a crystal straw in it. I used to be a full-fledged member of the "I heart Oprah" cult. NO MORE! I am so over Oprah. Now I know that to some of you I am speaking blasphemy, and I apologize for offending you. However, I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR MY UTTER DISLIKE OF OPRAH. Who does she think she is? I'm just tired of her "I have arrived, I am better than all of you mere mortals" attitude. Her new age, feel-good, "The Secret" crap. "Read my books." No thanks Oprah. I'll choose my own. "Find your inner light." Nah. I have Jesus. He's my Savior...not YOU. You are dead to me.

Now I imagine that her minions of secret service people have now flagged my blog for daring to speak against her, and they are probably watching me from the skies. Whatever. Unless I get a personal invitation to be an audience member on one of her "Oprah's Favorite Things" episodes...she's still DTM.

2. Home Phones. 672-7067, you were good while you lasted. We had a nice 13 year run. Now, you are dead to me. I will admit...this one was hard to release. Unplugging the life support was painful and excruciatingly difficult. Could we live w/o a home phone? What would people think? I must thank my pal Amanda Campbell for seeing me through this difficult time. She too has a "dead" home phone, and she told me that we in fact would survive without a land line. Looking back now...I wonder why we didn't do it sooner. Why were we paying $80+ a month when we BOTH have cell phones that we use for the majority of our phone-talking? We didn't use our home phone for Internet service; we were basically throwing away that money each month. NO MORE. Dead to me. The saddest part is knowing that we are now dead to the phone book. Much like Navin Johnson from "The Jerk"...I lived for the day that the new phone book would arrive. I would hastily flip the pages until I found us, "Shawn and Amy Martin." Then, I'd look up all of our family and friends. Silly? Maybe to you. It was wholesome fun to me, and I loved it. Now...it is dead to me. Along with my home phone line.

3. Capri-Suns. Um, yeah. Did you see the FB post about what that lady in Florida found in her child's Capri-Sun? And before you go off to Snopes to prove me wrong...it is totally legit. Kraft even released a reply. Their reply, "Don't worry. It's just mold." Sorry Kraft...not good enough. I don't want mold in my fruit-flavored juice. And I am SO not buying your lies. That is not mold. It looks like flesh to me. Whatever it is...I don't want it in my boys' drinks. So you, sweet Capri-Suns, are dead to me. And to my house as well.

4. Paying full price for groceries. Yes, I am a couponing FIEND. I've heard it all. "I don't have time to do coupons." Yeah, I have all the time in the world. Life is easy on Farmingdale Road. I MAKE TIME! Is it work? You better believe it is. But have you tried to feed 3 growing boys lately? I rest my case. Couponing is actually fun, it's like a game to me. While Wal-Mart is dead to me, Publix is my new home away from home. They are a couponers BFF. I will NEVER pay full price for a box of cereal again, when I now know I can get it for $1 a box. There are no shortcuts, there is no easy way. But if you are serious about saving money like I am...couponing is the way to go. And if you aren't serious...can I have your coupons?

That's all for now. I'm sure that I will think of more things that are dead to me. Until then - I have 3 wonderful LIVELY, full of life, alive and kicking boys who are wanting to go swimming. Well, only 1 of them can swim today, the other 2 have All-Stars tonight. So they will only play darts.

Until we meet again, RIP Wal-Mart, Oprah, home phones, Capri-Suns, and paying full price for groceries. It was good while it lasted, but you are all dead to me.

gigi book

2010-06-14T16:34:00.001-07:00

Click here to view this photo book larger

how does your garden grow?

2010-06-08T09:10:00.000-07:00

Growing up, we ALWAYS had a garden. I have shelled millions of peas, snapped beans, and gotten up early in the morning to "do the corn." I remember getting to ride in the back of the truck down the rows, pulling in the corn. Then we'd go sit under the big tree at my Aunt Rosa Lee's house and shuck and silk it. The best smell was when they would cut it off...I love fresh corn. Then they'd "put it up."

We always canned. I can remember my mom opening a jar of her tomatoes to add to spaghetti, soup, or my fave...stewed tomatoes on cornbread.

Peas and corn is my favorite meal. That's my birthday request every year. Peas and corn with squash, fresh tomatoes, cucumbers & onions in vinegar, fried okra. Nothing better in the WORLD.

Shawn looks forward to garden season every year. He would make my Aunt Rosa Lee proud. His is very orderly and neat; everything has it's place. He has a few types of tomatoes: Big Boys (my request...Rosa Lee said they were the best), Romas, cherry tomatoes (for Keith) and this year I'm pretty sure he has Heirloom tomatoes as well. He also has different types of peppers. He puts up several jars of pepper sauce each year. We go through pepper sauce, bc we put it in our peas, pinto beans, butter beans (him - I don't eat em'), cabbage, and turnip greens. He's planted squash, okra, green beans, corn, red potatoes, sweet potatoes, cucumbers, and onions.

I told him that his hard work warranted a blog post. So here it is...
By the way...he isn't the only gardner in the family. See those beautiful hydrangeas? Yep - they're all me. :)

week 1

2010-06-05T20:54:00.000-07:00

Our summer thus far - in a nutshell.

1. Crawfish boil with good friends, good food, and good times.
2. Treetop Family Adventure. Yeah, pretty much our new favorite place.
3. Lots of pool time with our cousins.
4. The newest Shrek movie. We LOVE Shrek!
5. Popsicles. Lots and lots of POPSICLES.
6. Bike rides.
7. Lego adventures on a quilt by the pool.
8. All-Star practice for K and Z.
9. Playing with our 2 new kitties. Still waiting on names, but Momma is really pulling for Gingy (the Gingerbread boy from Shrek)
10. Late nights watching movies and playing Mario Bros.

Our summer, thus far, has been an EPIC WIN. How 'bout yours?

Crooked Things

2010-05-09T20:06:00.001-07:00

What were you doing yesterday? Me...well I was on the speaking circuit. Oh how I love to say that. I was at my 3rd "official" booking as far as speaking goes. (as opposed to what? dancing?) :) Seriously, about a month ago, our sweet former pastor called and asked me if I would consider sharing my testimony at the Mother-Daughter Brunch at his church. I gladly said yes. Without even thinking. Some people might say, "How can you get up and speak? I'd be so nervous." Well...once you've lived a miracle like I have - you can't help but talk about it.

Shawn and I married in 1997 and we had plans. We planned to be married for 2 or 3 years, then to have a baby. I know of many people who make such plans and see them come to perfect fruition. That must be really comforting, really easy. I wouldn't know. We tried "without medical intervention" for about a year and a half. Then, we were sent to "the specialists." There, we were met with the kindest, sweetest doctors and nurses. And not so sweet news. Several diagnoses. Even more tears. Clomid, Lupron injections, Follistem injections, Progesterone injections...you name it - we did it. Inseminations...Jon and Kate did 1 and got their sextuplets. We did 7 and got nothing.

All the while, every single ONE of our friends were having babies. We were "Uncle Shawn and Aunt Amy." While all of our friends brought their children to the birthday parties of others...we came alone. Year after year. I began to resent those parties. Mother's Day...ugh. It was torture. All the Mothers in church would stand up to be recognized. All but me. Along with all the teenagers...I was the lone female still seated. I. hated. it.

We bargained with God. We would raise our baby in a Christian home. We would do everything "right." We just wanted a baby. Finally, God showed me something. What I wanted...the yearning in my heart wasn't for "a baby" exactly. I didn't just want a baby. I wanted to be a mother.

Every day, every single day I had the same verse that I would say to myself. Over. and. OVER. "Now unto HIM who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all we could ask or think..." I probably said it at least 10x per day. That's the thing about God's word...it is powerful.

Little did we know that God wasn't holding back anything from us. He wasn't ignoring our prayer for a baby. He saw our crooked path to parenthood, and He fashioned it just that way. Because around one of those curves...He had 2 sweet little boys waiting for us. Just for us. And what we didn't realize was that we were waiting for them.

So instead of getting "the baby" that I thought I wanted...I got 3 miracle boys. Not 1. Not 2. 3. At one time. If that isn't "exceedingly, abundantly above all I could ask or think" then I don't know what is.

I look back now and realized that God could've granted my prayer and given me a baby *poof* right when I first asked for one. But if He had...I would've missed out on Keith and Zack. My life would be incomplete.

I thought I had it all figured out. I had my plan, I had my path chosen out. I didn't envision any curves, any crooked roads, any delays. Along the way as we were waiting...waiting for SO long, I felt so alone. I felt like Solomon when he said, "What is crooked cannot be made straight, and what is lacking cannot be numbered." I thought I was lost on that crooked path, and I felt like the weight and depth of my emptiness was too great to fathom.

Little did I know.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8& 9

You know that Rascal Flatts song "God Blessed the Broken Road"
He did. He made our road to our boys broken, curvy, and crooked. And He blessed it. Solomon said something else about crooked roads. And I'm almost positive he could've written it just for me.

"Consider the works of God; for who can make straight what HE has made crooked?" Ecc. 7:13

The shortest distance between 2 points is a straight line.
Sometimes...it's the crooked lines that produce the most beautiful pictures.

Today. Every day...I am so thankful for my crooked road.

where do i start?

2010-04-18T17:57:00.001-07:00

Do you know how sometimes, you can be doing the most normal, random of things and you'll hear something that will absolutely change you?

Yeah. That was me. Last night. In Publix. Let me explain.

I was on the salad dressing aisle. I was trying to be a sweet wife and get my sweet Shawn some yummy dressing that he loves. I couldn't remember which Brianna's dressing was his fave - the one with the strawberry on the label, or the one with the other fruit on the label. (for the record...it's the strawberry one) So I called my mom to ask her. She told me it was the strawberry one, then she said one sentence that totally changed me.

"Amy...Stewart was killed today."

It took a second for it to register. I said, "Rachel's Stewart?" She said yes. I replied with a simple "Oh my God." I wasn't using God's name in vain. I was literally crying out to Him. I was devastated.

Now this requires a little back story on my part. Stewart and Rachel Bieber just came into our lives in January of this year. They have been leaders of a LIFE CHANGING small group at church. Rachel is my leader. Stewart is my Dad's leader. They are the cutest, most amazing couple I know.

Stewart is a pilot. Literally...he flies jet planes. He has that funky, spikey hair just like my Keith. Except Stewart's is dark. Rachel is beautiful. Long, curly hair. Dresses to perfection. Works at a health food store. They are outdoorsy, healthy, and totally in love. And totally surrendered to God. Living for him 100%.

Rachel has prayed for me and with me, cried with me, and taught me so much about being a better wife, mom, and person. God brought her into my life when I didn't even realize that I needed her. Wow. Talk about your steps being ordered by God. He brought us together and used her to reveal weaknesses in me. I am a better person today because of this relationship.

How cool is this...Stewart and Rachel were building their own log cabin. By HAND. Their hands. Completely debt free. I know, right? And it ain't some little shack. They bought their land in Wilsonville and together, have done it ALL. They even had the cutest blog where friends (aka stalkers) could keep up with their progress. How stinking "them!" To say that they did everything together was an understatement. They literally DID. Everything. They were "that marriage" where they didn't just say that they were eachother's best friends...they really were. Beautiful people, inside and out. I would look at them and think, "Wow. Perfection." And it almost was.

Yesterday they were doing something that they do all the time...waterskiing. All I know for sure is that Stewart was barefoot skiing, and something terrible happened. A ramp was involved...I don't know all the details. But I do know that as I write this right now...Stewart is in Heaven. While we are thankful for that...Rachel is here alone. Heartbroken. Devastated. No doubt wondering, "Why? What now?" I don't know for sure if she is saying that, I can only imagine if I were in her shoes. That's what I would be doing.

They were in ministry together. Powerful, lifechanging ministry. Now he is gone. I finished buying my groceries, got in my minivan, and cried my eyes out all the way home. I prayed for Rachel. I thanked God for all He did through Stewart and Rachel. I told Him that while I didn't understand...I still trusted Him. Mostly, I just cried for Rachel. One minute she had "perfection." Now...she is a widow.

It is so cliche to say that we aren't promised tomorrow...but man - we aren't. Life is precious. God has a plan, and while we may never understand it, we can trust Him. Even when it hurts. Today, it isn't easy to trust. My heart is broken for my friend. But it's like the song says, "You give and take away. You give and take away. My heart will CHOOSE to say. Blessed be Your name."

It isn't easy to trust right now. My heart is heavy. Regardless...I am choosing to trust. It's a choice. It isn't easy, or even natural at this point. I am making myself trust Him. I haven't talked to Rachel. When I do, I don't know what I will say. So until then...I am choosing to do all that I can.

At times like this, it's easy to pray. That is natural. That's basically all we can do. The trust...that isn't natural. That's something you have to make yourself do. You have to CHOOSE to trust.

Today, I choose to trust. I will choose it again tomorrow, and again the next day. It will be my daily decision. Maybe daily is too long a projection. I might need to choose hourly. Poor Rachel is probably having to choose minute by minute to DISREGARD her feelings and to do what feels unnatural. To trust...even though it hurts. But she is such an amazing person...I know she'll do just that.

Please join my in prayer for Rachel and for the Bieber family. Pray diligently and pray often. They have touched so many lives...mine included. We may not understand...but that isn't what we're called to do.

We're called to trust. We have to CHOOSE to trust.

"Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there’s pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name"

visit their blog at http://bieberloghome.blogspot.com

be still & listen

2010-02-11T13:47:00.000-08:00

I love to talk - for the most part.
I never use all my monthly allotted minutes on my cell phone; I text way more than I talk. We even disconnected our home phone service bc, well, we never used that phone. Shawn has a cell, I have a cell...did we really need a land line too?

My Mom always sighs and says, "Aim hates to talk on the phone." And it's pretty true. I just don't have time for it. Don't get me wrong - when I was growing up I couldn't get enough of the phone. Loved it. Lived for it.

Back to ol' Sue. She knows I *dislike* talking on the phone, yet she calls me about 50 times a day. And I call her just as many times. That's just how we roll. Anyone else can tell you...I don't answer my phone that much. I'm usually too busy. I figure if it's that important...you'll leave me a message of just call me back. You know, bc I don't have time to talk. Or listen.

Today was my mom's "procedure." The mass in her breast is growing, so they had to go in and take it out. We won't know for a few days if it is benign or the dreaded "c-word." We just have to pray - and wait.

Last night I couldn't sleep. I didn't take my usual tylenol pm's bc I knew I had to get up so early to be at the hospital. So...I tossed and turned. I'd wake up and pray. When I did sleep - I dreamed. Vivid dreams. I remember feeling warm, like I was outside in the sunshine. I remember music.

When I was waiting with Mom before they wheeled her back to surgery, she commented on how she too couldn't sleep w/out her tylenol pm's. She said, "When I did finally go to sleep, I dreamed about music." I said, "Really? So did I! I dreamed about one of our praise & worship songs." Mom said, "So did I! What song did you dream about?" I said, "Fail us Not." Mom looked at me and said, Amy - so did I."

Standing there, I had an epiphany. God knows that I'm a terrible listener. He knows that I don't like to take the time to stop and listen. So - He talked to me when I was good and attentive. I was still. I was asleep.

The cool thing is - He talked to my Momma too. He told her the same thing. We both heard the same song. Even the same verse - over and over. "Whatever will come, we'll rise above, You fail us not, You fail us not, no matter the war, our hope is secure, You fail us not, You fail us not."

That is SO God. And I love it. If you don't know the song...you need to learn it. Our praise & worship band sings it. My Momma plays the piano. I believe that it will forever be one of my top faves. If you're a FB friend of mine, you can go to my page and follow a link to the video. If not - go to www.failusnot.com
Watch the video. Maybe it will speak to you too.

FAIL US NOT - by 1000 Generations
Failure doesn't phase you.
Worry doesn't win.
Lost doesn't leave you afraid to start again.
Our sin doesn't shock you.
Our shame doesn't shame you at all.
Mistakes do not move you.
Terror doesn't tame.
Death doesn't doom you to life in the grave.
Our suffering doesn't scare you.
Our secrets won't surprise you at all.
At all.

There is nothing above you.
There is nothing beyond you.
There is nothing that you can't do.
There is no one beside you.
There is no one that's like you.
There is nothing that you can't do.
Whatever will come, we'll rise above.
You fail us not, You fail us not.
No matter the war, our hope is secure.
You fail us not, You fail us not.
You fail us not.

Hatred doesn't hide you.
Evil doesn't ail.
Despair can't disguise you and tell you that you fail.
Our doubt doesn't daunt you.
Our darkness won't defeat you at all.
At all.

There is nothing above you.
There is nothing beyond you.
There is nothing that you can't do.
Whatever will come, we'll rise above.
You fail us not, You fail us not.
No matter the war, our hope is secure.
You fail us not, You fail us not.
Whatever will come, we'll rise above.
You fail us not, You fail us not.
No, You fail us not.
You fail us not.

Good Tidings of great joy...

2009-12-27T17:44:00.000-08:00

2 months since we last spoke.
Where the heck have you been? :)

Christmas has come and gone. We had a great one here on Farmingdale Road. 3 boys got lots of toys. Momma and Daddy have a new obsession - Mexiacan Train dominoes. The house looks like a bomb went off. The trees are all still up. It is freezing outside. Last night, we ate a dinner of pizza and mini pecan pies around the fire pit outside with our neighbors. Life is good.

I have already purchased 12 Christmas gifts for next year, all my cookie/candy tins and buckets for school (a total of 14), and I finally organized my countless rolls of ribbon.

We are all healthy, happy, and blessed beyond what we deserve. God is so good.

Hope that you and yours had a Merry Christmas, and that 2010 holds many blessings and wonderful things in store. Keep your eyes peeled - you never know when I'll be back. :)

What Swine Flu Makes Me Do

2009-10-12T20:52:00.001-07:00

It's a miracle.
I remembered the password for this blog.
Much has happened since my last post.
Good thing, right...since it was on July 27th.

I am a busy gal, but there is a better reason for my absence.
I like to include pics with my posts. My good camera is my big 'ol honkin Sony digital. Well, I lost the cd that loads the software on my laptop. So I need to call the company and get a new cd so I can use my camera.

The boys are good. All 4 of them. School is busy. Good, but busy.
And I have swine flu. That's really why I have the time to sit and post a blog. I am high on Tamiflu, my cough medicine, tylenol, sprite, and pull-and-peel twizzlers. I slept all day, so I am WIDE AWAKE now. I feel like crap, so I will probably go and swig some more sprite and wash down a couple'o Tylenol pm's. Have I mentioned that I am totally addicted to them? I AM. As are many of my fellow teachers. What is up with that?

If you haven't already heard, I got the best package EVER in the mail on Saturday. It was the wig to my Halloween costume; I am going as Kate Gosselin. If you are on FB...go RIGHT NOW and see my pics. I am obsessed with my new wig. Now that I have fallen vicitm to the H1N1 pandemic, I'm not wearing it nonstop like I did Saturday. But once I regain my strength, i.e. will to live...she will adorn my head once again.

Gotta run. My stomach is bubbling again. I don't know if it is because it's full of sprite, pull and peel twizzlers, and random narcotics, or if I am about to see my grilled cheese again. Whatever the case - somethin' ain't right. I am, however alive. Not so much well, but alive. I know all of your days are better just knowing that.

More soon. Hopefully not in 3 months, but soon.

i'm learning

2009-07-27T08:47:00.000-07:00

This picture doesn't really have anything to do with this post, but I love these boys so much...I just wanted to share their beauty with my reading masses.

Been a while, eh?
I can't for the life of me be that devoted daily blogger. I don't see how all of you do it! Since we last spoke, lots has happened. We've had a birthday (Keith), a massive spend the night camp out with 14 other boys, done a 3 day training in The Seven Habits (life changing), done a 5 day training on Math Investigations (loved it), worked in my classroom along the way, prayed LOTS for Gigi and Grandadddy as they were on a mission trip in Costa Rica, read to my boys, read to myself...you get the picture.

Over the course of my absence, I have learned some things. I thought that I'd share them with you today.

#1 - I wouldn't trade my family for ANYTHING. I have the best husband, children, parents, brother, sis-in-law, nieces, and extended family in the world. Sorry readers...it's true.
#2 - I am really close with my mother. I always knew it...I have never said, "I'm not close to Sue." But having her gone for 9 days made me realize...my Mom is one of my best friends. She is NEVER allowed to go on a mission trip, ever again. Period.
#3 - I have decided to celebrate the "sacred ordinary." Saturday, I was out running errands listening to Dr. Dobson on the radio. He had a guest who was fabulous. She is a mom and has written a book that yes, I stopped @ Lifeway and bought. She was talking about finding what is wonderful in your children and clinging to it. She talked about having a teenage daughter who was a hormonal, raging mess. She said that it helped her to remember her chubby 3-year old hand rubbing her face saying, "I love you bunch, Mommy." She talked about finding beauty and joy in the "sacred, ordinary things." Well, Steven Covey turned my life around during my 7 Habits training, so I put it to good use. In my new, awesome Franklin Covey binder, I have listed just a select few of the "Sacred, Ordinary" things that I love so much. I won't share them today...but I will one day. You'll love them too...I promise.
#4 - Laughter is priceless. I have laughed a lot lately. Sometimes to keep from crying. I heart laughing. I'm really good at it. I like to make people laugh probably more than I like to laugh myself. Laughter is great.
#5 - 3 boys are FABULOUS. 14 boys...that is not fabulous. That is borderline mania. Good thing that 10 year old birthday parties only come around once.
#6 - I only thought my boys ate a lot. They are growing, and so are their appetites. They are lean boys, but I am in awe at the amount of food they require on a daily basis. I need to take a day and journal what all they eat, and share it. I just may do that.
#7 - I probably love the sport of golf. Were it not for our new Wii, I would never have known. I am obsessed with playing golf on the Wii. I told my Dad, if it weren't for the blazing hot sun, I could TOTALLY see myself as an avid golfer. Maybe I can be a winter golfer.
#8 - There is nothing funnier than watching my 3 sons play the Wii. Oh, the laughter it has brought to our house. Back to #4.
#9 - Shawn Martin is one good Daddy. He has ON HIS OWN established a new system where the boys have to earn Wii/Playstation time by reading to or with him. He is reading The Boxcar Children with Keith. I love to listen.
#10 - My parents, while amazing, extreme blessings, have a twisted side. They brought everyone treasures back from Costa Rica. While I am appreciative, I am also disgusted, and frankly, angry. They brought the boys flutes. Hand carved flutes. 3 of them. I can only imagine their maniacal, evil laughter as they chose them. I was honestly frightened at the maddening looks of sheer joy and elation when they handed them over to my guys. Do you know what 3 flutes sound like, played at the loudest volume possible, in the highest pitch? I do. And it isn't pretty. These flutes are certainly NOT a sacred, ordinary memory that I will cling to. Something tells me that Harold and Sue are adding this little episode to their catalog of special memories. I must talk to them about that.

back to life...back to reality

2009-07-12T20:25:00.000-07:00

And just like that - it was over.

We had a great week at the beach. What did we do, you say? Here's a brief recap of some highlights.

We ate at Lambert's. Caught some throwed rolls. Waited in 150 degree heat for what seemed like an eternity while Griffin made werewolf noises the whole time.

We accumulated a nice shell collection. Daddy and Keith and Zack got some really nice ones from a sandbar and we all collected a few each day. Now they have a new home in an old jar in our guest bathroom. Picture to come later.

We watched as Grandaddy lost his glasses by a massive wave, then realized that he really is blind without them. They were new glasses. $400 glasses. We learned that when on vacation, if you are pretty much legally blind and without glasses...your trip isn't that fun. We watched Grandadddy and Gigi spend a whole day in Robertsdale waiting on some random place to make Grandaddy new glasses.

We ate lots and lots of popcorn shrimp. Daddy ate lots of raw oysters. We puked in our mouth a little each time Daddy ate them. We oooohed and aahhhed at The Original Oyster house when we realized that Daddy found not one, but 2 pearls in his oyster. The waitress verified that they are real, and that it is VERY rare to find 2 pearls in 1 oyster. We just laughed, bc hey - that's how we roll. Those pearls are in Mama's makeup bag just WAITING to be turned into a lovely little pendant. (at least 1 of them, anyway)

We dressed up like cows to get free food at Chick-fil-a. Seriously. Thursday was customer appreciation day, and if you came in dressed as a cow, you ate FREE. So we got black construction paper, scissors, and safety pins. We made spots and pinned them on our clothes, and our family of 10 (w/Uncle Chris' bunch) ate a TON of yummy Chick-fil-a for FREE!

We got really tan. And we heart it.

We laughed. A LOT.

We came in from the beach to watch the Michael Jackson memorial. At least I did. So did Shawn. And Chris and Amy. And Gigi. Who had the kids? I guess it was Grandaddy. Poor, blind Grandaddy. I loved every minute of the memorial. Paris Jackson...I love you. And Prince Michael I. And blanket. Your spontaneous words touched my heart, and hopefully quieted numerous haters. Who better to speak of your father's true character than you? Beautiful and touching. I am impressed and touched by you. And Jennifer Hudson...please come to my house and sing. I am begging you. You sang my FAVORITE MJ song. (besides Dirty Diana, but I don't think that would have been appropriate). You were radiant, and you are amazing. Mairah Carey, you are a hot mess, but at least you were conservative...for you. Brooke Shields...perfection. Your quote from The Little Prince wasn't lost on me. Spot on, my lady. You were a great friend. Al Sharpton, I even loved you. "Wasn't nothing strange about yo' Daddy...what yo' Daddy went through was strange." Yes. If by "what yo' Daddy went through" you mean Joe Jackson, the Mommy Dearest of fathers...I agree wholeheartedly. One last MJ note, and this is priceless...as soon as the service started and the 14k casket was being wheeled in to the choir singing, Gigi informs us all, "Well I think that is REALLY sacrilegious." I quickly informed her that they weren't singing about MJ as "The King" but that it was indeed a spiritual entitled "Soon and Very Soon." It was beautiful. The greatest entertainer of all time indeed. We mourned Michael Jackson, then went back down and busted some awesome cannonballs in his memory.

We rode go-carts, and Grandaddy almost killed a poor teenage worker. Seriously. And this was WITH his new glasses. If ONLY we had this on video...we would be rich.

The kids with Daddy, Grandaddy, and Uncle Chris went to a Mobile Bay Bears Game, Bass Pro Shop, and Ryan's Steakhouse. All 3 are yucky to me...all 3 were gold to them. To each his own. I was with Gigi and Duke at the Outlets.

We took our traditional beach pictures, and watched a wedding on the beach. Nice.

Lots and lots of other stuff. I'll probably remember/post it later. I'll leave you with this...Griffin just came in here and informed me that he didn't clean his room as I told him to, because he has decided that he needs his space. His exact words were, "I didn't clean it, Momtee. Yeah. I didn't. I just need my space, alright?"

"Soon and very soon..." HELP ME LORD.

My friend, the STAR

2009-07-01T21:10:00.000-07:00

Recently, I was in the presence of celebrity.

Let me venture back...way back. Like 26 years back. My Mama was a teacher @ the Elementary School with Mrs. Waldrop. I prefer to call her Gabardine. Her name is Geraldine, but to me, she will forever be Gabardine. I heart Gabardine. Always have...always will. For as long as I can remember, I have been dear friends with Gabardine's daughter, Lisa.

When we were really little, we both had waist length hair that Gabardine and Sue forced us to wear in 2 ponytails. People thought we were sisters. Somewhere @ my Mom's house, I have photographic evidence to support this theory. Sadly, all the pictures I have here are after what I refer to as the "Dorothy Hammill incident" so you'll just have to take my word for it. The point I am trying to make is - we've been pals for a while.

While Gabardine and Sue did their teacher stuff, Lisa and I roamed the halls of the school playing. *for the record, I am talking about Summertime and after school* We went in the kindergarten room and climbed in the loft. I actually got hung on a breaker box once, thankfully Lisa managed to dislodge me. We talked, we laughed, we sang. We were even majorettes for a few years. That alone deserves its own post. We shook our moneymakers, and batons to such lovely numbers as "Puttin' on the Ritz" and Frank Sinatra's "New York, New York." Sue and Gabber pimped us out to half-time shows, Miss Merry Christmas pageants and any other place that would showcase us. We were their little show ponies, forced to gallop and trot on command. *Mom, before you have a heart attack, this is sarcasm. I am being funny*

I would go to Lisa's house to watch the Barbara Mandrell show. She would come to my house and we'd listen to my Dad's Merle Haggard cassette tapes. We grew up together. We loved John and Isabella on Days. I marveled at her collection of VHS tapes of Days episodes. I loved her brother, Lane, with his sweet smile and easy way with sarcasm. He was a boy after my own heart. I really loved her Granny Louise, with her red hair, red lips, and red nails. Granny Louise...I could dedicate 50 posts to her alone.

As we grew older, we remained friends. Lisa graduated the year before I did, and like any good Christian girl, she went to THE University. Of Alabama. Now, I had somewhere to go and spend the night "in college." Sometimes, in papasan chairs. I have eaten Guthries with her, tried on Gucci Go Go boots with her, taken her to the emergency room when she was burning up with fever, made fun of bouffant hair with her, almost to the point of causing 15 car pile ups, etc. We have laughed, we have cried, we have made memories that I will treasure for my lifetime.

I remember one night at her apartment in Tuscaloosa admiring her music box/globe collection. (Lisa, am I dreaming this, or did this really happen) I believe that she had either a globe or music box that played "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music. Since then (or since I first dreamed this 15 years ago), whenever I heard that song, I thought of Lisa. "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens..."

Lisa became involved with the theatre (or is it theater) when she moved to Tuscaloosa. I always said that I would go and see her perform. When I heard that she was THE LEAD in The Sound of Music, I knew that I had to go. I am SO GLAD that I did.

I may be biased, but I am not exaggerating. Lisa Waldrop was MADE to be Maria. Her first scene, when she sang her first "The hills are alive..." took my breath away. I was sitting there beside my mom thinking, "Don't cry Amy...don't you DARE cry." I was overwhelmed with emotion. I was so happy for her, I was so proud of her. I was so touched that my friend was fulfilling a dream...and I was there to see it. She was phenomenal. She was fantastic. She was amazing. I'm not just saying this because she is my friend, but she was every bit as good, and I believe BETTER than the original. Every nuance, every ounce of her being WAS Maria. It was magic.

So, this post is dedicated to my pal Maria, I mean Lisa. I heart you, Lisa Waldrop. I wouldn't trade our childhoods for anything. Every Sour Cream and Onion Tato Skin, every milkshake @ Argo's, every reference to "Bran Flake," every laugh, every tear...I heart them all.

I am totally serious when I say this...remember the name. Lisa Waldrop. It will be in lights one day. There is NO REASON she shouldn't be on Broadway. None whatsoever. I knew she would be good...I had no idea she would be THAT GOOD. I look forward to seeing her again, stealing the show. As always, I'll be her #1 fan...sitting in the audience, wearing my floor length denim skirt, Garth Brooks shirt, black Reebok hi-tops with my air-horn and cow bell...beaming with pride. If you are totally lost...good. You should be. That picture of beauty was an inside joke...just for Maria, I mean Lisa.

Throughout our lives together, we've traveled many paths together. I am so happy that I can honestly say that the hills have been alive...with the sound of music.

Bravo, Lisa...Bravo.
Or, as Granny Louise would say, "LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-Saaaaahhhhhhhhh...." I give you two thumbs up...2 bright, red thumbs up. You are one of my favorite things. And I heart you.

i heart this guy

2009-06-30T20:28:00.001-07:00

Sunday was my anniversary.
Shawn and I were married on June 28, 1997.

You may not know this, but Shawn is extremely thoughtful. Seriously. He comes up with stuff that I would never think of. Here's a perfect example. When I walked in "big church" Sunday morning after Sunday school, one of the giant screens had a picture from our wedding and the caption said, "Happy 12th Anniversary Shawn & Amy." He had secretly arranged a deal with our Pastor and our Media Lady so it would be there when I came in. I know! Who thinks of things like that? IT GETS BETTER!

He took one of our wedding photos that had the cake in it. We never got to eat any of our cake. We had that single bite that you feed each other, but we were so busy talking to our guests that we didn't actually eat anything. Some ladies made us a picnic basket with a sampling of all of our wedding foods, but we left it in our car at the hotel. It was late June, 100 or so degrees...we didn't chance it. Back to my story...I loved our wedding cake. It was beautiful, basket weave with fresh flowers. It wasn't your traditional "up and down" cake, it took up an entire table, each layer was a different size on a different level. Oh, I hearted it. HE HAD A REPLICA MADE FOR ME. It is just 1 cake, but come on...WHO THINKS OF THINGS LIKE THAT? Here's where it gets even more precious. The sweet lady that he asked to bake it actually had to make 2 cakes. The first one was a true replica of our cake. She made it and placed it in her freezer. Well, some people were doing work at her house and the freezer got unplugged . Cake was ruined. So, she had to hurry up Saturday night and make a different cake. So it didn't actually look like our cake, but what a sweet thought. I HEARTED IT!

I'm not supposed to know this, but I have another surprise on the way. Shawn has been going behind my back taking all kinds of pictures of us from the past 20 years. We have been together for 20 years. Ca-RAYZEE!!! Those pictures are now on 8 cd's in Louisiana. My brother the producer is putting them all on 1 DVD with music and video clips, and I'll be getting that at the beach.

Even if he hadn't done all this fabulous stuff, I'd heart him anyway. Throw all this stuff in the mix...I heart him even more. He is a wonderful Daddy, terrific husband, amazing dancer, master of impersonations, and nobody makes me laugh more. He is my soul-mate, the one created just for me. And I heart him.

Here's to many, many more anniversaries.

going green

2009-06-29T07:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Homecoming at church. There was so much food...so much food. Of course, as we did our good Christian duty and got at the end of the line, I was questioning if there indeed WAS enough food. I was also making mental notes of who was going back for seconds before some of us poor souls preferring our brothers were waiting with rumbly stomachs IN THE BACK OF THE LINE. Anyhoo, we got fed. I had a hearty lunch of grease and flour, bc I chose a MASSIVE piece of fried chicken from Wal Mart. Oh, I heart Wal Mart chicken. I could've chosen from a million delicious sides, but with 3 boys and 2 adults...fixing plates is tricky. I made a deal w/Griffin. I told him that we could share a plate, he could eat from my plate. He quickly informed me that yes, we could make a deal, but that it wasn't going to go down as I suggested. I could eat from HIS plate, thus eliminating many of my delicious side items. So I got 1 piece of chicken.

All Keith wanted was green jello. There was any dessert known to man, crafted by the finest Christian hands on the earth...and he wanted green jello. Of course, by the time we got to dessert...the green jello was gone. Blasted pigs. (forgive me, Lord). My sweet boy...he doesn't ask for much. Shawn looked at me and made this vow, "I WILL get Keith some green jello...I will." And he did. Last night @ 10:30, he went to Winn Dixie and came home w/green jello.

Flash forward to this morning. It's the darnedest thing...as soon as my kids wake up, you can bet you'll hear this, "I'm starving. What's for breakfast?" We almost always do healthy stuff. NO sugary cereals, no pastries, etc. It's usually a healthier cereal and fruit, sometimes biscuits, sometimes pancakes, sometimes granola bars. Not today. Today calls for something special.

on the lookout

2009-06-28T22:40:00.000-07:00

So much has happened since we last spoke! Mom and I saw my sweet friend LISA steal the show in The Sound of Music. It deserves its own post...be on the lookout. Today is my 12th Anniversary. Shawn is so thoughtful...I can't wait to share all the sweet things he did for me. Be on the lookout. We had a photo shoot with our FAVORITE photographer, Kamin. I don't want to give away too much, so I'll just offer this tease - antique tractor, baseball gloves, Ninja Turtle. Be on the lookout.

Finally, Gigi surprised me w/an anniversary surprise. I guess it was for my anniversary. Or it could be just for being an altogether super awesome amazing daughter. Yeah, that's probably what it was for. Anyhoo, she did these w/her very own hands. She's super crafty and talented. And for the record...I heart these silhouettes. And Gigi.

More to come this week. Be on the lookout!

the day the music died

2009-06-25T21:34:00.000-07:00

I remember this poster.
I had it on my wall when I was in the 2nd grade.
I loved it.

I remember when MTV first came on the air. There were no trashy dating shows, no disgustingly lewd documentaries. There were these cool things called music videos. I lived for them. We all did.

The best videos were by Michael Jackson. His videos were like movies. No lie...they really were. When a new one would debut, people would make plans to stay home and watch them. There was no Tivo. No DVR. You cancelled everything, sat in your living room, and watched.

I remember Thriller. I remember the album. The real, vinyl album. I had it. I also had the cassette version. Not one, I had 2. I wore one out and had to get another one.

I remember Thriller the song. I remember Thriller the video. I remember Thriller the movement. Thriller is the background music for my elementary school years. PYT. Wanna be Startin Somethin. Human Nature. Beat It. Billie Jean. I heart those songs...and I remember them.

I remember We are the World. I remember that Michael Jackson wrote that song. I remember seeing all of those celebrities standing together, singing it. I remember singing along. I remember thinking that we really could make a difference, if we all stood side by side and worked together. "It's true we make a better day, just you and me." I remember.

I remember hating Pepsi even more, since MJ's hair caught on fire during a Pepsi commercial. Sheesh...Pepsi has always been inferior to Coke. That's just a little bonus here...back to Michael Jackson.

I remember the jacket. Yes, I had one. Mine was pink. With silver zippers. Mine came from TG&Y. Oh, how cool was I in that jacket? I never got into the glove phenomena, but it worked for Michael. I remember that sequined glove.

I remember trying to moonwalk. He made it look so easy...effortless. I remember trying - and failing. I can moonwalk, yes. But not like Michael could.

I remember "The Wiz." Do kids today even know about "The Wiz?" Oh, I hearted it. I wonder where I can get copy of it. I want my boys to see The Wiz.

He was the King of Pop. He was the Elvis of my generation. He was the greatest musical icon probably of my lifetime. He was 50. Are you flippin' kidding me? 50? Gosh, I'm old. Wasn't it just yesterday that I was in the 2nd grade, and Mom and I were at Brenda Lowe's house for dinner, watching Thriller? We were amazed at his dancing. His performance. His talent. That was just yesterday. Now he's gone.

Lots of time has passed from then to now. There have been highs, and lows. Shady stuff. Physical changes. Lots of them. A marriage to music royalty. More physical changes. More shady stuff. I won't try to deny any of that. I won't dispute any eccentricities, problems, or other general weirdness. I will, however choose to remember other things. Other days. Earlier days. I will remember the days where this very poster hung on my wall. Michael Jackson in his yellow outfit. Michael Jackson, the King of Pop. Michael Jackson, the voice of the music of my childhood. I don't deny the issues or problems. I simply choose to remember the magical side.

I feel old today. I woke up, went about my day like usual. When I heard about Farrah Fawcett, I intended to blog about her. Then came the news of MJ. Both were such integral parts of my childhood, pop culture royalty. It's hard to be a child of the 80's today. I am sad. I am healthy, have a wonderful family, I am blessed beyond what I deserve. I am a wife, a mama, a teacher. But the little girl inside of me is sad. Pieces of her childhood are fading away. And it makes her feel old. Distant. Lonely.

I remember where I was when the Challenger blew up. I remember where I was when Kurt Cobain killed himself. I remember where I was when the Berlin Wall fell. I remember where I was when the 1st Gulf War started. I remember where I was when Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis died. I remember where I was when JFK Jr. died. I remember where I was when Chris Farley died. I remember where I was when Princess Diana died. I remember where I was when my beloved President Reagan died.

I remember love, love, LOVING Thriller. And now, I remember where I was when my beloved King of Pop died. Justin Timberlake, Kanye West...you guys don't have a clue. Talented? Yes. Iconic? Nope. Michael Jackson...he was an icon.

And I will always remember.

Stuff we heart

2009-06-24T20:58:00.000-07:00

When I was a little girl, I loved getting new stuff. I mean, I HEARTED it. My kids heart new stuff too. I also heart a good deal. My boys, they have always just liked stuff - the price of the stuff was no concern. Until now. I have introduced my children to an amazing place, a virtual heaven on earth. Kind of. I have revealed the secrets of the Thrift Store to my boys...and they heart it.

I took them for a date day a few weeks ago. We went to Chic-fil-a for lunch, and to the Thrift Store. I told them that they each could get 1 bag of goodies. You know how the Thrift sells stuff in those clear bags...it's like getting a goodie bag of treasure. You can see what you are getting, and there are literally HUNDREDS of bags to go through. And we went through all of them. I knew that Keith would be in Heaven with the Hot Wheels and toy horses. My 1 bag rule, it didn't last. How could I only get 1 bag, when there were awesome horses, Hot Wheels, AND army men? And all 3 were cheaper than 1 blasted toy at blasted Wal Mart! Zack isn't into cars or action figures, so he wasn't really impressed. Yet. Griffin found lots of action figures he liked, but nothing that he really hearted. Until we went to the magical place called...the showcase.

Ah, the showcase. The place where the true treasures are located. I happened to look behind the glass counter and what did my eyes land on? The holy grail. The jackpot. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle carrying cases. Not one, but 2 of them. Be. still. my. HEART. To say that Griffin likes the ninja turtles is like saying that it's warm outside. He HEARTS the ninja turtles. He hearts them a lot.

I asked the sweet lady working the showcase if those TMNT cases had anything inside. She said, "Girl, I don't know. Here...look." She handed me the cases. They were FULL. Griffin was in full hyperventilation, seizure, hysteria. I guessed there to be about 25 TMNT figures inside. I told him that if we got them, that would be all he could get and he'd have to put back his other stuff. He was cool with that. Each case...$12.88.

Zack quickly realized the magic of the showcase when he spotted his prize...a binder of baseball cards. He asked if he could see the binder, and the sweet lady handed them across the glass counter to him. The heavens opened up and angels descended and for a minute, I think I heard the Hallelujah chorus. It. was. FULL. Chock full of cards. Once we got home, he counted and told me exactly how many cards...252. It was a good day.

Once we checked out, we realized that it truly was a magical day. The turtles were 30% off. They were a green tag item, green tags were 30% off. The baseball cards...70% off. Are you KIDDING ME? It was SO meant to be.

3 happy boys, 1 happy Mama. A little Clorox water bath and voila...those toys were like new. On a side note...those TMNT cases actually held 48 TMNT characters. Most of them can't even be bought today, except for on Ebay. Just last night, I found one on ebay for $39.99. 1 Turtle. I got it, plus 47 more for less than that. That my friends, is why I HEART the thrift store.

We're BAAAA-AAAAACCCKKKKKK!

2009-06-23T20:52:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I was tired of the old blog. Plus I hadn't posted anything since February. What's new with you? We've been great. Busy, but great. I'm sure that I'll devote some postings to things we accomplished over that last 4 months, but not tonight. Tonight I just wanted to let you know that unlike the Gosselins...we're in it for the long haul. :) I always loved their little mantra, "It might be a crazy life, but it's our life." Somewhere along the way, they lost sight of the "our" part. I'm afraid it became "my" life for the adults in the equation. I have loved that show since day 1 and will pray for their family. In the meantime...I look at my house full of boys. I hear their loud voices. I feel the walls shake as they play basketball...inside...AGAIN. After I took the darn nerf ball away...and hid it on top of the refrigerator. I see the milk glasses on the table that they *forgot* to take to the sink. I see the wet swimsuits on the carpet floors, waiting for a Mama to pick them up. I see the action figures arranged PERFECTLY, all 1,375 of them. I see the tractors, monster trucks, army men, and baseball cards. Treasures. Thrift store purchases...priceless to them. I see my 3 little boys transforming to 3 big boys...and it makes me sad. Just yesterday K and Z were new. 3 and 2 year old "newborns" to us. And G...wasn't he just born? Now he is starting kindergarten. Oh, my heart aches. And my face hurts - from smiling. These kids are hilarious. They are wild, lively, loving, beautiful messes. I heart these boys. And their Daddy. It may be a crazy life indeed, but it's OUR life. And I wouldn't trade it for the world.

**DISCLAIMER*** Given the recent Jon & Kate drama, I would like to make a few things clear. First of all...don't expect me to cut my hair in some scary asymmetrical backwards mullet. Won't happen. Secondly, if you're looking for Shawn on the bar scene at night cuddling up to some young teacher...you're wasting your time. He's got all the teacher he needs right @ home. :) Also, he will not be sporting fancy 3 carat diamond studs in his earlobes anytime soon. If any bling is to be purchased...it will be for Mama. Maybe this will clarify any confusion you may be having. For those of you not familiar with Jon and Kate, you probably think I have lost my ever loving mind. Just play along...you know Amy...she's crazy like that. :)